Tales from the Men's Locker Room

WARNING: This post WILL change your outlook on life.

At what age does a man feel that it is acceptable to use a public hair dryer to dry his balls after he's showered at the gym? Apparently 70.

I am not kidding. Ben unfortunately saw this with his own eyes (more than once), but what I will save you from are the visuals, or not...

So here's what happened: Ben innocently entered the men's locker room looking to shower and head back to the office. Just a normal day, great workout, hot shower, and a short drive back to work...not looking to encounter anything disgustingly life altering. It wasn't until he rounded the corner and a shot of hot, damp air hit him in the face that he knew what had just happened. There hunched the back of a pasty, wrinkled, near 70's man standing next to his rascal, spread eagle, with the clubs public hair dryer propped precisely at a 45 degree angle under his balls. He turns to Ben and nods as if to say "Nice weather today, huh?" and continues about his business.

IS THIS NORMAL?

It's then that I ask myself, what could a woman do that would be so revolting and make an "I don't give a damn what you think" statement as this? Will there be a day that I walk into the women's locker room to discover the Silver Fox Tennis Club captain applying Gold Bond medicated powder under her large, gangly, aged, silicone filled boobs so the friction between them and her knees doesn't cause chaffing all while gossiping about her latest sexual encounters with the twenties-something tennis pro? Or maybe that's a Maxine Hallmark birthday card I'm recalling.